Finally recovering?

Grief is an overwhelming process. There are days where I thought I couldn't go on without her in my life. Then there are days where I forget to think about her, those are the scariest. After 1 year, 5 months and 23 days, I finally feel like I am coming out of my grieving shell. Please don't mistake that for me not missing her, because I still do. But now it has become easier to know that I can't call her daily. What has not become easier is knowing I have to make big decisions without her. But, it is all a recovery process. Having her gone has forced me to step outside my comfort zone and confide in others, trust others, and let others in, which isn't always an easy process. But I think it gets better with time. At least that's what people say.

I found out I'm old

A lot of my friends refer to their kids when listing what makes them feel old. I realized this weekend that I have music to make me feel old. I was surfing itunes for a song that I heard on the radio, I was ready to download it, but luckily I listened to the preview first... it had some pretty foul language, so I did what any other 'old' person would do.

I laughed at myself as I closed my eyes and clicked clean version and then purchase, swearing to myself I wouldn't tell a soul. As it downloaded, I smiled at flashbacks of dancing till all hours of the night, enjoying ear bleeding levels of music that dropped one explicit after another, where now if the TV is too loud I question who exactly was watching it last?!

And, as if this shameful clean version of music wasn't enough to age me, the Grammy's were on this weekend. The Grammy's have slowly declined in production value every year and this one was no exception. I watched most of the acts lip sync, followed by artists winning that I had never heard of or thought their music was just noise.

To add whip cream onto this musical sundae, the Grammy's are were on until 11:30?! I can't stay up that late, I'm going to have to watch the rest tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Unexpected Anger

I really thought my first blog post back would be something earth shattering about how my grandmother's death forever altered my life, or how something amazing happened. But why start with the deep stuff...instead I will just start with today.

For some reason today anger unexpectedly hit me. Today, Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional by the courts in the State of California. I am personally happy about this, but I know not everyone is. I shared on my FB that I was excited, and a few friends liked my status. But, one "friend" decided to post bible verses. For some reason this sent me through the roof.

I had to take a step away and really think about why I was so angry. I felt like I was a hypocrite for being angry at her for stating her opinion, when I was doing the same thing.

There have been previous posts that people have shared their opinions on, and I love that. I enjoy people stating their difference of opinions and usually it is done in such a productive manner, it really makes you think.

So why this time was there so much anger there? Why this time did it make my heartbeat into my throat? Passion could be part of it. Knowing the pain that people have suffered on this subject could be part of it. I don't know.

Either way, what's done is done. But I needed to state somewhere (thankfully I have this blog) that I do respect people's opinion, but apparently only when I am ready to hear it.

Hawaii- Snorkeling

I was pretty scared to go snorkeling. I had only been one other time and as I recall my little brother held my hand the entire time. But I was so determined to do it. Luckily Tom is probably the most patient man ever! He let me figure it out and just kept telling me I was going to be okay.
After about 30 minutes or so of breathing way to heavy for my own good I started to relax. And then I realized...I was having fun!! I couldn't believe everything I was seeing and I was just swimming along like it was no big deal. Don't get me wrong, I did scream a few times but it was all just false alarms.
I was so excited with all the snorkeling that Shelly was nice enough to take me again the next day! Good thing we did it towards the end of the trip or I would have wanted to snorkel everyday! I can't wait to go back and do it again.

Hawaii!

After what seems like a very long fundraising season I just had to get away for a little R&R. So what better place than Hawaii? I had really only been there one other time and didn't get to do much exploring so I was stoked that I was heading to Hawaii and had a tour guide to show me all the great stuff!
Shelly introduced me to Duke's. I am for sure hooked! Their fish tacos are amazing! We ended up going back a second time just because we had to have them again!

Tom and Shelly sure do know how to show a girl a good time! We went hiking, snorkeling (which deserves and entire different post) They hauled me around everywhere! Shelly and I even hit up the Malasada truck a few times which made life that much sweeter.
Tom was nice enough to get up at the crack of dawn (literally) and took me on a sunrise hike. It was so awesome!! One of the best views of the trip.
I can't wait to go again! There is so much more to see!

Great Article!

I came across this article as I was surfing the web. If you are a single woman... you will relate to this article fully and completely!

The Single Friend

Twilight DVD Release Fun

March 20th was the day! At midnight the DVD was released and Mel and I were right in line to get our special addition DVD. We brought Dory, Cole and E along with us, but they ended up being distracted by drinks. So it was just Mel and me that were able to enjoy all the Twilight fun!
The crew after dinner... the excitement building!
Mel & me chilling in borders...
Our super cool Starbucks cups.
Finally got the DVD in hand about 12:30am. We went straight home to watch it! Everyone fell asleep/passed out besides me & Mel! It was a blast staying up late and having fun with friends!

Taking a mental picture...

Saturday night was the big birthday dinner for Grandma. The parental units were in the kitchen all day prepping everything and getting it all set. Two of grandma's friends came over it was surely a night that I hope I never forget. (although really not as good as least year's 80th surprise birthday) Grandma's friends were very impressed with the dinner. The conversation was also one I will not soon forget. I have huge respect for their age groups and feel I can learn a lot just by listening to them. I love to hear about their memories from back in the day and sharing their views on today's world.
The best conversation was when we started talking about the internet, google and then iphone. I wish I had my camera out for the look on their faces when I told them about googling dates, friends and anyone else you want to know about. They were all so excited that they wanted me to google them and see what came up, they were even more impressed when I busted out my pink cell phone and did it!
Grandma was excited about the lighter on the iphone, so I just had to get a picture of her "rockin out" with her flame.

The joys of being with Grandma!

Time with Grandma always brings new adventures. A few grandma-isms we have already been lucky enough to have shared with us...

1) "I turned up the heat because you are from California!" We were all wondering how the heat got so high, none of us could sleep it was so dang hot! We all had to stand outside in the 30 degree weather just to catch our breath!

2) "Did you know those bordello girls dress really scantily... I have always wanted to do a tour of the bordellos."
Above was our dinner conversation. A few of Grandma's friends had taken a tour of one. Grandma said she didn't know that women go in too! It was pretty funny. The restaurant was so quite everyone heard the conversation...I was laughing so hard I was crying.

3) "Do you think the big TV is overwhelming in the living room?" Little does she know, everyone now days has huge TV's in their living rooms

I love my grandma!

Fairy Time!

Anytime time spent with my god-daughter and the K family is good time! Jennifer is growing so much and becoming such a little person. She now is using words and seems to actually have an opinion on things. We have fun together, she is so social and loves to say Hi and Bye to everyone she can see...multiple times. But, she is so dang cute everyone just smiles and plays the little game. And nothing thrills me more than her mom telling me that JLK will only eat pickles with me. :)

Travel, Travel, Travel

When I travel I go big. Just got back from spending a week in Hawaii and now I am off to good 'ol Elko, NV to visit Grandma for her B-day. I love to travel and wish I could do it all the time, unfortunately travel takes money and I don't have a million dollars.
I have been lagging on blogging... tried to stay away from a computer in Hawaii but should have ample down time in Elko (since g-ma goes to bed at 8!).

Wondering how I will do going from the tropics to a high of 25 degrees...

Moped Radio

On the way to work today there was a guy riding a moped with his ipod stuck to the windshield and a big speaker on the back with music blasting. Odd.

Utah loves porn!?

According to a recent study and the Salt Lake Tribune, Utah is the number one place for online porn viewing and subscriptions. I love it!

Perez Link
Salt Lake Tribune Link

The Bachelor...

Wow. Jerk of the year has officially been awarded to Jason from this current season of The Bachelor. Everyone knows the premises of the bachelor reality show, and this one was no different. Jason had to pick between two women. He did, and I have to say the proposal and romance of it all was the best I have seen in my many years of watching this show.

As promised, After the Final Rose was on next and it really was the most dramatic ever. After 6 weeks of the show being over, Jason has decided that, whoops, he picked the wrong girl. Oh and p.s. he hasn't told the girl that he proposed to, so he needs to break up with her first... on the show! I can't even believe he hasn't even had the decency to discuss this with her before they go on television!

At least the engaged girl schooled on his butt and didn't hold back her feelings. And then he cries...again! I am all for guys showing their feelings, but crying every time your are a jerk is a little much. To make it worse, 5 minutes later he asks the other girl (the girl he dumped 6 weeks earlier) on a date!

Dear Jason, thank you for being a total class-less jerk. Hopefully women have enough sense to know that you don't represent most men because you sir are a loser. Congratulations. You are famous.

Things I have learned from "the kids" in 24 hours

Maggie is such a trouble maker! She gets into everything, gets mad when she is moved or picked up and is just plain snotty. Last night we had ribbon out and she just had to check it out. It was a pretty long piece that she grabbed and ran with. I don't know if it was the texture of the ribbon or what, but she sucked it all in and then couldn't get it out. So picture if you will, me running around after her as she is trying to puke up this 2 foot long ribbon. I finally scooped her up, did the kitty heimlich, well really just pushed on her tummy and pulled out all the ribbon. It was a little traumatizing, but we got through it... and she took a nap right after.
Lesson learned from Maggie: Don't leave gold ribbon out for cats to get a hold of.
Jub-Jub is my little cuddle monkey, who is a little on the fluffy side. He follows me around the house and wants to be right next to me as I do everything. So it came rather surprising that he wasn't with us downstairs. All of the sudden, a few big crashes and the toilet flushes upstairs. The only one up there is Jub! Curiosity didn't kill the cat, just makes him flush the toilet by himself with his booty.
Lesson learned from Jub-Jub: Cats have many talents, including flushing the toilets!

They sure don't make it boring around here!

Television Shame

There is this great show on VH1 right now called the Too Academy. This is like Rock of Love (the Brettt Michaels show) for couples. The concept is great! These girls want their boyfriends to change so they send them to the academy. Pure entertainment and such a guilty pleasure.

Happy Birthday Rishma!

Haven't had a night out in awhile. So what better reason than Rishma's B-day! We went out to the fancy place...Santana Row. We had dinner at Roux, which was fun. It is all New Orleans themed and the food was pretty good! The drinks were expensive and not even that good, so that was a bummer.
After dinner it was off to Rosie's, it is your basic trendy bar. They played great 80's music, which I am always a fan of and us girls got our groove on.
I think Rishma had a great b-day!

Disneyland! (from January) Part 3

The characters are the best part of Disneyland! We had great luck (and a little drama) with visiting all of them. We actually met all the princesses, so I guess I don't have to go back to Disneyland again... yea right!

We searched all day and had drama, but then we found my #1 princess! Pooh Bear is Cole's favorite!
, Mickey! Too bad we are looking at another camera.
Sleeping Beauty!
Belle!
3 princesses in one picture!
I have to say Jasmine was one of the best princesses. She never broke character! She had a 10 minute conversation with Dory about the ultimate flying carpet and how Aladdin loved to drive. It was awesome!

Disneyland! (from January) Part 2

We found it hilarious that in the middle of Toon Town there is a Jolly Trolly. So of course Dara and I just had to ride it!Over at California Adventure we went on the 3-D Movie Bug's Life. WARNING! This is the scariest ride ever!! A huge grasshopper appears and there is spiders and fog! By the time the show was over I was in Dory and Cole's laps. So they just had to take a picture of me with the grasshopper. I will never go on that thing again!
I won on this ride! I shot the most targets. I have no idea how this happened, I am assuming pure luck, but I would like to think of it as Disneyland skills.
We also spent Saturday morning at Disneyland. This is the best picture on Splash Mountain. Yes, I am the one in the blue hood with my hands up...that's how I roll.

Disneyland! (from January) Part 1

After a hectic holiday season, we decided we just had to go visit Southern California! We left Thursday night and drove down. We ended up at Disneyland all day on Friday! It was so fun! 14 hours straight at Disneyland, we are that hardcore. It was great to have a girls day and have the only worry be how the heck we were going to find Cinderella!

The girls day is starting...
Space Mountain! Only the coolest ride ever! We had such great ride karma. We practically walked on every ride and got front almost every time!
Matterhorn! Also a fun ride, but still scary in my book! My Dad always use to say that the monster was calling my name... if you listen closely you can still hear him calling me!
Splash Mountain. Not my favorite ride but it's Cole's favorite ride, so we just had to go. Thanks goodness she got the water the worst!