Finally recovering?

Grief is an overwhelming process. There are days where I thought I couldn't go on without her in my life. Then there are days where I forget to think about her, those are the scariest. After 1 year, 5 months and 23 days, I finally feel like I am coming out of my grieving shell. Please don't mistake that for me not missing her, because I still do. But now it has become easier to know that I can't call her daily. What has not become easier is knowing I have to make big decisions without her. But, it is all a recovery process. Having her gone has forced me to step outside my comfort zone and confide in others, trust others, and let others in, which isn't always an easy process. But I think it gets better with time. At least that's what people say.

I found out I'm old

A lot of my friends refer to their kids when listing what makes them feel old. I realized this weekend that I have music to make me feel old. I was surfing itunes for a song that I heard on the radio, I was ready to download it, but luckily I listened to the preview first... it had some pretty foul language, so I did what any other 'old' person would do.

I laughed at myself as I closed my eyes and clicked clean version and then purchase, swearing to myself I wouldn't tell a soul. As it downloaded, I smiled at flashbacks of dancing till all hours of the night, enjoying ear bleeding levels of music that dropped one explicit after another, where now if the TV is too loud I question who exactly was watching it last?!

And, as if this shameful clean version of music wasn't enough to age me, the Grammy's were on this weekend. The Grammy's have slowly declined in production value every year and this one was no exception. I watched most of the acts lip sync, followed by artists winning that I had never heard of or thought their music was just noise.

To add whip cream onto this musical sundae, the Grammy's are were on until 11:30?! I can't stay up that late, I'm going to have to watch the rest tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Unexpected Anger

I really thought my first blog post back would be something earth shattering about how my grandmother's death forever altered my life, or how something amazing happened. But why start with the deep stuff...instead I will just start with today.

For some reason today anger unexpectedly hit me. Today, Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional by the courts in the State of California. I am personally happy about this, but I know not everyone is. I shared on my FB that I was excited, and a few friends liked my status. But, one "friend" decided to post bible verses. For some reason this sent me through the roof.

I had to take a step away and really think about why I was so angry. I felt like I was a hypocrite for being angry at her for stating her opinion, when I was doing the same thing.

There have been previous posts that people have shared their opinions on, and I love that. I enjoy people stating their difference of opinions and usually it is done in such a productive manner, it really makes you think.

So why this time was there so much anger there? Why this time did it make my heartbeat into my throat? Passion could be part of it. Knowing the pain that people have suffered on this subject could be part of it. I don't know.

Either way, what's done is done. But I needed to state somewhere (thankfully I have this blog) that I do respect people's opinion, but apparently only when I am ready to hear it.

Hawaii- Snorkeling

I was pretty scared to go snorkeling. I had only been one other time and as I recall my little brother held my hand the entire time. But I was so determined to do it. Luckily Tom is probably the most patient man ever! He let me figure it out and just kept telling me I was going to be okay.
After about 30 minutes or so of breathing way to heavy for my own good I started to relax. And then I realized...I was having fun!! I couldn't believe everything I was seeing and I was just swimming along like it was no big deal. Don't get me wrong, I did scream a few times but it was all just false alarms.
I was so excited with all the snorkeling that Shelly was nice enough to take me again the next day! Good thing we did it towards the end of the trip or I would have wanted to snorkel everyday! I can't wait to go back and do it again.

Hawaii!

After what seems like a very long fundraising season I just had to get away for a little R&R. So what better place than Hawaii? I had really only been there one other time and didn't get to do much exploring so I was stoked that I was heading to Hawaii and had a tour guide to show me all the great stuff!
Shelly introduced me to Duke's. I am for sure hooked! Their fish tacos are amazing! We ended up going back a second time just because we had to have them again!

Tom and Shelly sure do know how to show a girl a good time! We went hiking, snorkeling (which deserves and entire different post) They hauled me around everywhere! Shelly and I even hit up the Malasada truck a few times which made life that much sweeter.
Tom was nice enough to get up at the crack of dawn (literally) and took me on a sunrise hike. It was so awesome!! One of the best views of the trip.
I can't wait to go again! There is so much more to see!

Great Article!

I came across this article as I was surfing the web. If you are a single woman... you will relate to this article fully and completely!

The Single Friend

Twilight DVD Release Fun

March 20th was the day! At midnight the DVD was released and Mel and I were right in line to get our special addition DVD. We brought Dory, Cole and E along with us, but they ended up being distracted by drinks. So it was just Mel and me that were able to enjoy all the Twilight fun!
The crew after dinner... the excitement building!
Mel & me chilling in borders...
Our super cool Starbucks cups.
Finally got the DVD in hand about 12:30am. We went straight home to watch it! Everyone fell asleep/passed out besides me & Mel! It was a blast staying up late and having fun with friends!